On February 27, 2016, I did a brand new thing (for me) onstage at the LUST event at Rogue Bar in Scottsdale. I delivered my first Slam Poetry performance!
Here’s the video. The background noise is a bit loud, so if you’re having trouble hearing it, I’ve copied the poem below…
I hope you enjoyed the video! Make sure to reserve your copy of my new book, Secret Weapons of Mass Orgasm, today!
Poem: If (v.4.0) by Nadine Sabulsky
If I knew, if I was TAUGHT
That I had complete mastery
Of my body
If I could say no to
“Give your grandma a kiss dear”
Or no to the vaccines, or no to
the antibiotics
prescribed
By way of my hypochondriac mother
Or yes, to sleeping and waking when I wanted, instead of your rigid rules
Or no, to sharing my toys
Or yes, to kissing boys
Would I still be a SLUT?!
Or a “free thinking woman”?
Would I be a serial monogamist?
Or Keying cars because I’m pissed
That I’m not the ONLY love of your life?
Or still a virgin, waiting for
“The One”
If I knew, maybe
That leaving high school
would Give ME
the ideal chance to REALLY
learn
How to be independent,
But in return
I would have to
not join in
Those discussions that begin
“When I was in school”
Would I still drop out
Or would I have joined that mix
The gangsters and rapists my mother warned me about
In my assigned district
And bullies,
The jocks and cheerleaders
Rich preppies, poor snobs
Nerds and goths
Drama and music, the writers, the artists
Well, apparently, looking at this crowd
I didn’t totally evade all of you… ha
Or would I still have chosen
To be
That self-educated
Queen of rarity
With my book learned equality of empathy?
If I knew…
That loving you
Even after all the happiness and learning
Would end, someday
In heartbreak
With regretted actions…
Would I still choose to accept that
First kiss, that second date, that
Third base, that…
I was your girlfriend?
If I knew, in advance…
That having a child would
Limit my opportunities for
Higher education, career,
Or romance…
Or that it would give me
An education not attainable through school
And boost my sense of responsibility beyond my years…
Would I still not choose
That abortion, or choose myself
Over the man who said he wouldn’t love me
If I had one?
If I told YOU how
*I* like to be touched,
Held, loved, cared for,
TAKEN CARE OF
Whether it’s in the form of words or actions,
Gifts or precious time…
Would you do it, anything I asked…
(Within reason, of course!)
Willingly, joyfully?
Happy to please me?
Or would you be pissed off?
Would you label me
Demanding, bossy, “too masculine”, trouble,
High maintenance, crazy…
Because what worked for her, doesn’t
For me.
Would it hurt your feelings to know
That *I* know
What I like, because I’ve had it once…
At least!
Even if it’s fantasy…
I want to make reality
With you…
Or would you accept that fact
That you could BE God’s gift to me
But it’s not a one-size-fits-all
Technique
Because we ALL are unique!
Can we just ASK for what we want?!
Your feelings are your choice.
Is it too much cost to be FREE?
What if…
I had learned all the lessons
At an earlier age,
How to love unconditionally
Without allowing others
To trample the boundaries
That I didn’t know how
To set or express
What if I had been taught
How to Be instead of Do
Would I still have let
Myself do those things
Faked that smile
Told that white lie
ACCEPTED LESS
or what I didn’t TRULY desire
Would I still have lived
even a moment
untrue to who I AM!?
What if… I was always honest
With myself, duh!
And I could always tell
Your tells
When you lied to me
When you used me
When you conned me
To rent that car for you
And it cost me THOUSANDS
What if I never dated that
psychopath I took to Florida
When I was 22 and he…
He was 16, getting by on that fake ID
I found
Or even worse, the narcissist,
Who tried to steal my home?
We’ve all had our ups and downs…
If I knew…
That I’d have 9 businesses
In just as many industries
Before I found my destiny
Or that I’d work hard and fail
Sometimes
Or that I’d be 40 still making the same money
Or that I’d hate my first business
Or the 5th
Would I still have started
And kept starting over
And over
Or would I have “settled down”
been “an adult”
And “gotten a real job”
Like my father
Like my boyfriend
said?
I’d rather be dead,
in fact.
If I knew, for a fact
That living life
Would end someday
After all the joy and grief,
Anger and relief
In still cold forever death…
Would I still
Take that first breath
Eat that first meal
Still do everything I could
To live life to the fullest?
If I could travel
Anywhere
Through space and time
Make any change I wished
Without knowing the consequences
Would I choose to change anything?
Or would I accept the current present
The current future
And move on from now
Resolving to make better
More informed…
Choices?
What if…
What if… I knew the consequences?
What if… I could define the end result,
Exactly?
Would that change me?
Who I am, now?
What if… the change would be beneficial
But I still didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t KNOW how, or WHAT that would effect?
We ALL want…
And all we want…
Unconditional love
Acceptance…
Of our ultimate self…
What if… this IS the only chance?
The End
After finishing the poetry reading, I talked briefly about my new book, giving some chapter highlights and announcing the book’s availability for pre-order, which you can get here.
I hope you enjoyed the poem! Make sure to reserve your copy of my new book, Secret Weapons of Mass Orgasm, today!