Purposeful Thoughts


Find Gratitude During Times of Mass Mourning

You don’t have to be a diehard basketball fan to understand why so much of the country remains deep in mourning. Yesterday, nine souls – including retired NBA legend Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna – perished in a fiery helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. The devastating turn of events left fans around the world reeling from the loss. Bryant had a complicated past, but he was also a husband, son, father and hero to millions – on and off the court. Gianna had dreams of following in her father’s footsteps, and their loving bond was on full display through many of the videos and photos shared across social media platforms in the hours after the incident. During times of mass mourning, it’s easy to get swept away in a sea of sadness. Grief is a complex process, and it can be all-encompassing. It is also a completely normal […]


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Seek to Practice Unconditional Love

Seek to love both yourself and others unconditionally. The feeling of love provides a vast protection against all forms of ills, including other, less desirable emotional states. “But… Love Hurts” you say? Actually, it’s not love that hurts, it’s the feelings generated by a perception of lack of love; the jealousy, anger, fear, sadness, or resentment, that really hurts us. Those are the harmful emotional states, both for your body and mind. Love is the opposite, as well as the most powerful cure for all those other states. Love is the best possible addiction you can have, but if you’re not used to it, it will take conscious practice to begin the process of re-habituation. Ara says: “What I am most interested in generally about emotions is the apparent paradox of not letting them control you, while still being honest and true to yourself. I could not dissociate from my […]


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A Wake Up Call About PMS – for Men & Women

A few years ago, I was waiting in line at the bank. Suddenly, I started having paranoid thoughts about a bank robbery… and that was when I had my epiphany about PMS. Let me give you a little back story… a few months prior to this happening, I had been hanging out with my brother and he offered me a “nug” of marijuana. I rarely have ever used pot, however, this time I took it and thought I would try using it to relieve my period symptoms. Generally, my period is pretty predictable. It starts every 23.5 days from the start of the last one. I have 2 days of light to medium bleeding (going by the product descriptions that I am able to use), and usually fairly bad cramps on the first day, sometimes cramping on the second day. Then I have a day of almost no bleeding, but […]


Experimental Metaphysics

An experiment in metaphysics, specifically the experiment of whether or not the combination of  beliefs, thoughts, feelings, words, and actions actually can change our entire physical reality, depends upon being able to effectively shift all those factors; to, in effect, suspend or replace any disbelief or contradictory thoughts, feelings, words and actions, with complementary ideas that suit the reality you wish to experience, experimentally. This is the fundamental nature of my work. http://i.word.com/idictionary/metaphysics


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Casual Love, by Carsie Blanton

I read this article some time ago, and it so perfectly reflected my feelings about love and romance, that I was actually a bit envious that someone else wrote it first! I consistently give this article to friends, clients, and anyone I date. I want to be able to say “I love you, it’s NBD.” and have others understand that that’s exactly what I mean. It’s wonderful to be able to express love freely! So, I asked Carsie Blanton, and she said I could post this to my blog. Thanks Carsie! Without further ado… Casual Love Friends, put on your flak jackets. It’s time to drop some honesty on yet another uncomfortable topic: love. We use the word “love” to mean a lot of things. Throughout this post I’ll be referring to the romantic kind of love, the kind that usually involves sexual attraction, AKA “falling in love”. Love: The […]


A Free Woman’s Manifesto

Just because I am sexually open, does not mean I am sexually available to you.  Just because I teach sex ed, does not mean I am obligated to tell anyone who asks what my sexual fantasies are. Just because I practice nudity, doesn’t mean I am required to email you my nude photos. Just because I am open-minded, doesn’t mean I am obliged to listen to your trash talk. I use nudity as a means of promoting freedom, not only sexually but in all areas of life. Just because I believe in Individual Freedom & Responsibility, doesn’t mean I owe the world anything I don’t want to give. To assume and insist otherwise is equivalent to attempted rape or theft. In the fetish community, we have one widely understood rule. Ask politely. If the answer is “no”, then accept that answer; don’t take it personally, don’t persistently keep asking. Just say […]

A Free Woman's Manifesto

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Reality is a Reflection of You

If your life is full of peace, it’s a reflection of your inner peace. If your life is spattered with conflict, it’s a reflection of your inner conflict. This philosophy changed my life at a young age. I took it to heart, and I began to realize that if I admired something about someone, or hated something about someone, either way it was because they reminded me of some aspect that I liked or disliked about myself. As a result, I no longer could get angry or upset with anyone, at least, not for very long. Similarly, I found that people responded to my self-image. If I felt like I was looking good, I would get complimented and admired. If I felt crappy, not so much. If I felt successful, I would easily succeed. The times I’ve felt like a failure, again, not so much. In a way, our conscious […]


Oops! I messed up, AGAIN!

We all make mistakes. So how can we quickly move beyond the feelings of blame, shame, guilt, anger, pain and resentment when we, or our friends, family and loved ones, make mistakes?

Oops I did it AGAIN! How to Access the Healing Power of Forgiveness

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How to Stop Relationship Pain and Find the Love

I recently posted a status on my Facebook page. It was after I had a slight disagreement with a friend and he took it over the top, in my opinion. So I posted, “When a misogynistic man doesn’t want to hear a woman he attempts to marginalize her by ignoring what she is saying and labeling her behavior as: controlling, demanding, manipulative, crazy, bitchy, evil, etc. If that still doesn’t shut her up he resorts to insults. Usually she just wants to be heard. To have a chance to air her grievances as much as he airs his.” Then a girlfriend messaged me saying her boyfriend was doing the same thing. I had to quickly rethink. I knew my friend was misogynistic, and I also knew her boyfriend wasn’t, in fact, he was the opposite! The two common elements between these men? They were both very stressed out. Unfortunately, men AND […]